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I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly moved I am by all of the messages, reblogs and personal storiies have come out from that article I wrote on reproductive coercion. It’s such an important issue we need to get out. It isnt some intangible idea that floats far away from us. It happens to our mothers, daughters, sisters and friends. Without further adieu, here are some of the many, many messages that have sprung from that post. I hope they paint how real and close this issue is to each of us. Click here to view essay
“My ex husband did this shit to me. Once we got married I wasn’t allowed to use birth control pills, he refused to use condoms.”
“I actually knew multiple women going through this when I was working at the domestic violence shelter.”
“Marital rape happens so often in some places people don’t see it as an issue. They think, if you’re married the man is entitled to have sex whenever he desires which is incorrect. Whether you are a complete stranger in a dark alley or married to me, you do not have any right putting your hands on me without my consent.”
“This is why I was on Depo when I was stuck with my abusive boyfriend. He beat the shit out of me when he found my hidden birth control pills.Guess who opened 2 hours early so that I could get my Depo injection without my abuser knowing? Planned Parenthood.”
“thank you for this. people do need to realize that there are TONS of reasons why people seek out Planned Parenthood or other clinics that can get them help. This is one of them. This has been going on for thousands of years, and it has been an accepted practice in many cultures for just as long. This isn’t something thats happening half a world away from you; this could have happened to your own mother, to your aunt, to you.”
“This, depressingly, is the reason I’m in the world. Except that my dad thought if my mum had a baby she’d have to stop working, seeing her friends, and would be confined to the house. It worked, my mums now 56 and has only been living her own life how she wants for the last 10 years. My dad used to refer to it him having “clipped her wings”.”
“Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention.”
“This is important and you should read it. Especially the men out there. Just because she’s dating or married to you does not mean you can demand sex whenever you want, and it certainly doesn’t entitle you to any kind of control over her body or reproductive choices. A woman’s body is hers alone, and any attempt to control it is a form of abuse.”
“Started crying reading these stories and thinking about how law makers are taking away one of the best resources for these women.”
“Wow. I went to get birth control at a doctor’s office in the community a lot of people use and they now have posters like this and one’s that explain forcing someone to get pregnant or denying, stealing birth control is abuse and where they can get help. Its great that more people are shedding light on this, just heartbreaking so many people are going through this.”
“I rarely talk about this, but my first boyfriend, who was abusive, tried to do this to me. I’m so lucky I never got pregnant.”
“I had some sort of vague knowledge that abuse like this happen, but after reading this post, I am absolutely appalled. I hope that we can continue to support programs such as Planned Parenthood to help protect these women— and the children!— from abusers such as those mentioned above.”
““Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.” Ownership, entitlement, control, power. The barefoot and pregnant tool for controlling women is still alive and well in many men’s minds today.”
“It’s about time we had one of these stories [written]”
“Planned Parenthood is so important. I’ve written and called in to all of my state officials and so many of them just don’t care. It enrages me when all anyone can think of with this program is abortion. They use this argument to rally pro-lifers and gain monetary support. It’s disgusting. We have to keep fighting.”
“One of the reasons that the whole ‘woman deliberately getting pregnant to ‘trap’ a man’ stereotype makes me so angry. The truth of that situation is that it is far more often the other way around: the man traps the woman by forcing her to carry his child. A baby is usually far more of a tie to a relationship for a woman than it is for a man because she is almost always the primary carer, so she will be unable to get a job and will be left financially dependant on her partner. It is the kind of thing that it makes perfect sense for a controling boyfriend/husband to try because pregnancy and then being a full-time mother leaves a woman so physically, financially and emotionally vulnerable.”
“My ex didn’t get violent until he was sure I was pregnant and theoretically trapped in our marriage. He was really invested in being a father until my son wasn’t enough of a reason for me to stay & I refused to have another child to “fix” things between us. To this day I am grateful for the invention of Depo since it was BC he couldn’t sabotage. “
“I almost started crying in class reading that. That’s so terrifying and awful…”
“This is too important not to share”
“I don’t want to get into details, but this is a subject that matters a lot to me.”
“Pay attention Folks. Marital Rape is Real. If my ex-husband had been able to get away with his plan, I’d still be putting up with his fat abusive ass. Thanks to Planned Parenthood I was able to protect myself and my uterus”
“I have a marital rapist in my family. Yes, it is real. Yes it exists. Wedding vows do not mean a wife loses the ability to say “no”.
“This is super important. I know people that have suffered from this kind of abuse and it really disgusts me that so many people think it doesn’t exist. Everyone should read this.
I don’t understand why people think planned parenthood is such a terrible anti-life place. It’s a sanctuary and often saves women from the mental trauma that this describes.”
“My best friend recently divulged that her father had threatened her mother with divorce and financial ruin if she didn’t get pregnant with his third child.I was literally floored.”
Thank you so much, feministblackboard.